Mrisho Msabaha

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Four Agreements

Toltec Wisdom

Don’t Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.

Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid

misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement,

you can completely transform your life.

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do it because of you. What others say and do is a

projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune

to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless

suffering.

Be Impeccable, With Your Word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to

speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your

word in the direction of truth and love.

Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment, it will be different

when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance,

simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, an

this is just to enlight ur day!!!

School

A place where Parents pay and children play

Life Insurance

A contract that keeps you poor all your life

so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:

A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman

gains her masters..

Divorce

Future tense of Marriage.

Tears

The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine

waterpower.

Lecture

An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the

notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference

The confusion of one human being multiplied by the number present.

Compromise

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got

the biggest piece

Dictionary

A place where success comes before work

Conference Room

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees

later on

Father

A banker provided by nature

Criminal

A person no different from the rest

...except that he/she got caught

Boss

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

Politician

One who shakes your hand before elections and

your Confidence after

DOCTOR

A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic

Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing

can be done together.

Experience

The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb

An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher

A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise

"Worry is the darkroom in which negative develops"

NINE PHRASES WOMEN USE.

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

5. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot', which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' - that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying, "F-- YOU!"

8. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in "Fine".